How to Control Anger Issues
Everyone knows what anger is. We have all felt it sometimes. Sometimes it is no more than an irritation, and in other cases, it turns red, and you prefer to throw the crockery.
In general, there is nothing wrong with anger but the difficult part is how to control anger issues.
For some people, however, their tantrums get out of hand. They cause problems at work, in your relationships and actually ruin your life in general. In this article, I explain how to control anger issues.
What is anger?
Anger is, above all an emotion. As with any emotion, anger also involves physical aspects. Your heart begins thumping quicker, your pulse ends up higher, and you turn red. All that happens because your body is being prepared for action. Furious feelings are therefore naturally associated with furious behaviours
Anger naturally helps us to respond adequately to situations that are threatening. For example, if you are treated unfairly or badly by others, it is important to stand up for yourself. Anger helps you to take that step.
Maybe that used to be useful when we were still living in nature. If you then encountered a life-threatening situation (and there were quite a few of them), you had to respond immediately. Nowadays, however, there are very few life-threatening situations left. If you also respond driven by your emotion, that response is often quite exaggerated. That is why it is useful nowadays if you know how to control anger issues.
There are different types of anger. Think of:
With these words, we mainly distinguish how intense the emotion is.
Anger can have many causes. Usually, anger is a reaction to a situation that puts us in danger. For example, when others act in ways that are not in accordance with our interests, when something is denied to us or when we cannot achieve our goal.
It can also be a psychological reaction to a different feeling. Some people relieve their anger, fear or loneliness by getting angry. If you want to do something about your anger, it’s important to be clear about where it comes from. We will talk about the different ways of dealing with anger. But first, let’s talk about how anger is expressed.
How is anger expressed?
There are many ways to express anger. A useful distinction is, in any case, passive and aggressive.
You see that some people do not dare to express anger well and therefore show it through a detour.
Others are easier in that and let you know immediately in a clear way.
We also often see that people first keep their anger inside. However, if it gets worse with the passage of time, it will pop out over time, after which someone will go all the way. So not showing your anger sometimes has the opposite effect.
Anger only becomes problematic (and a subject for a psychologist) when dealing with that anger causes problems. For example, if you are going to throw stuff, do something to someone else or when your environment starts getting tired of it.
It is useful to see tantrums as the effect of a limit value being exceeded. People who are irritated can usually control their anger. However, people who are enormously angry will find it more difficult. But what makes it difficult for people how to control anger issues. We have two explanations for this:
1: Accumulation: Sometimes, people get furious when too many things accumulate. For example, it may be that you drop an expensive board in the morning, get fired in the afternoon and find a high bill on the doormat in the evening. If your partner says something unpleasant, you can be sure that it will endure.
2: Explosion: Certain situations can also be too intense on their own. For example, if you get fired when you have not earned it. Or when your partner leaves you. For people with psychological problems (anxiety, depression, narcissism), relatively everyday things can also be very threatening. With them, sometimes little has to happen to cause an explosion.
The second form is much less common than the first form. That is why we pay a lot of attention below to control your anger. This helps to control major tantrums.
As mentioned, everyone gets angry, but not everyone suffers from anger attacks. This is probably because many people manage their anger in time.
Fortunately, research shows that you can learn to control anger. In this section, we indicate a number of options. Namely: Thinking, Relaxing, Communication
Treatment at the psychologist?
Anger attacks in themselves are not a psychological disorder. However, if they occur regularly, it may be that you suffer from periodic explosive disorder. The characteristics of this disorder are:
You have suffered several times with anger attacks that were accompanied by aggressive behaviour or where you have destroyed something.
The extent of these tantrums is not in accordance with the situation. So to speak, you can explode if you are not helped quickly enough in the store.
The anger cannot be explained by other psychological disorders or by drug use.
With regard to the latter, anger often appears as part of personality disorders such as Narcissism, or an anti-social personality disorder.
The treatment will mainly focus on the onset of anger (which causes you to become so angry) and on controlling the anger once it is there. Cognitive behavioural therapy is used in this.